My son, Sweet Potato, is six-years old. He was transracially adopted shortly after he was born. My husband and I have been forthcoming about his adoption, but until recently, he has shown minimal interest. Before last week, he would occasionally ask, "Mama, when I was in your tummy..." or "Mama, were you happy when I crawled out of your tummy?" After briefly envisioning the scene that scene in Alien, I would reply that he was in his birth mother's tummy, not my tummy. Of course we were happy when we picked him up from the hospital.
Last week, we were riding in the car and he asked, "Why are there only white people in my family?" My front passenger tire brushed the shoulder. My baseball-loving husband and I exchanged glances and said simultaneously, "Because you are adopted." Then we elaborated. We talked about other multi racial families and how all families look different. He was content and satisfied with our response and quickly started asking questions about his favorite subject, animals.
That all changed two days later. Our creative child confided to me that his birth parents are Belle and The Beast, from the movie reboot of Beauty and the Beast. He said the enchantress put him in Belle's tummy and living with us was "not in his plan." Then he described his interactions with Mrs. Potts and Chip. I entered his world, asking about Belle, the enchantress, and the characters. He moved on to the rose petals (he says "pebbles" ) falling off the rose. No more talk about his birth parents, magical placement in Belle's tummy. Just imaginative play about his new favorite movie.
A friend told me that children process information according to their current developmental stage. As they age and grow, they process the information again and again throughout their lives. Until now, Sweet Potato was hopeful that one day I would confirm that he did grow in my tummy. Now, his fantasy makes him a prince from a movie.
