Om Bop

I have spent much of my adult life treading water in a sea of athletic shortcomings.  I am, by all accounts, a klutz.  If you were an occupational therapist like myself, you would understand that body awareness and motor planning are not my gifts.  I occasionally look like a real swimmer when I look out onto the horizon, but my efforts are thwarted by one or more of the following issues: broken toe 1, broken toe 2, shoulder injury 1, the sequel, and III.  Then there are respiratory issues.  I always make an effort to come back, but sustaining my attempts is difficult.

I have this fantasy of becoming a runner.  I love to move fast, especially with skiing, in-line skating, and riding roller coasters.  I want to run by the side of the road in a cute little sports bra with ear buds and aviator sunglasses with my hair in a ponytail.  The reality is that I am built like a fire hydrant, my hot pink sports bra would blind motorists, and my hair is far too thick and curly to be contained.  Let's not forget that I am clumsy and broke my foot jogging with my toy poodle when I was in my 20's.  

I know exercise is a necessity, with many physiological benefits.  Now that I am a mother,  I urgently feel the need to improve my fitness so I can parent my son and give him a healthy mom.  Frankly, I also need to keep up with him.  He has ADHD and more energy than any human should be allowed to possess.  When we go walking at the neighborhood track, he literally runs circles around me. 

Years ago, I was reading a "healthy" magazine that addressed weight loss.  I saw a biography about a woman who regularly practiced Yoga.  The woman was slightly overweight and otherwise appeared average.  She was assuming the Warrior poses and exuded confidence and self-satisfaction. Ever since then, she has been the face of yoga for yours truly.  Anytime I hear about it, I picture Ms. Average Warrior.  

I finally decided to take the plunge and enrolled in Gentle Yoga, obviously targeted at people with "issues". I even bought some actual workout clothes that I would like to wear running because they make me feel like more of an athlete.  I was prepared for the physical challenge.   I was also embarrassed by the degree of the physical challenge that Gentle Yoga would offer. 

I was not, however, prepared for the mental challenge.  My stream of consciousness is more like a class V rapids of consciousness.  My brain bubbles and churns from my first sip of coffee until dreaming about my next sip of coffee.  When class started, the teacher stated, "Leave your worries and issues at the door.  Do not think about what you have to do, this time is for you."  I immediately pictured stuffing my worries into the world's largest rolling suitcase and struggling to push it down a concourse.  

As the class progressed, the teacher said, "This is your standing mountain pose.  Imagine yourself on a mountain."  Then I pictured Maria singing, "The hills are alive with the sound of music", followed by the song "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?"

Then the instructor requested that the class adduct their shoulders with elbows extended (OTish for spread out your arms).  Then she said, "Open your heart."  Immediately, I imagined Madonna and the music video of the boy covering his eye.  I smirked and snorted.  I forgot to open my heart.  When I did remember, I resumed silently giggling to myself like a middle-schooler.  

Now that I have been in several classes, I am able to assume challenging poses such as The Pigeon (or as Bert sings, "Doin' the pigeon!") and The Bow.  However, I am still a rookie when it comes to quieting my earworms and concentrating on breathing.  I continue to imagine Maria twirling on a mountain top, Bert singing about his favorite bird, and loading the plane with extensive baggage.  I have found an athletic pasttime that I am able to do without falling and breaking bones.  Now the real work begins.